When You’re In A Good Relationship, You Learn These 10 Things

Source: http://themindunleashed.org/2014/07/youre-good-relationship-learn-10-things.html
Credits: Lifehack 

I’d had serious relationships before meeting my fiance, with a couple lasting for years. I thought I was an adult; I thought I knew how to be a great girlfriend. Meeting someone I had a serious connection with taught me that nothing I had experienced before was real. True love feels different than casual relationships – even if those relationships lasted for years (often well past their expiration date!). When you’re in a good relationship, you learn things. You act differently; you think as part of a team, not as an individual making your way through the world. You’ll be more understanding and accepting of your partner, instead of just getting frustrated with them like you may have with past relationships.

1. MISUNDERSTANDINGS ARE INEVITABLE.

Misunderstandings are going to happen. If you take your partner’s words one way, then learn they meant something totally different, don’t punish them. Let it go. Bringing it up all the time is only going to bruise the relationship and cause communication problems later. Sometimes what you say or do will be taken the wrong way, and you’ll get frustrated that your partner doesn’t understand. Take a step back and realize it’s not a big deal. Misunderstandings are made to be swept under the rug because they’re so minor. They only become problems if you let them grow bigger and mean more in the scope of your relationship. Be laid back and forgive misunderstandings.

2. LEARN TO TRUST THEM.

You have to trust your partner. Why would you share your life with someone when you think they’re doing something wrong every time you turn your back? If you don’t trust your partner to be faithful, honest, caring, or anything else, then you’re not in a good relationship. The best relationships begin with a deep trust, and even if problems come up (and they will!), the trust is strong enough to keep you together.

3. LET YOURSELVES MISS EACH OTHER.

You’re in love, so you want to be together all the time! It’s so fun to cuddle all night and be together all day, but when will you have time to experience different things? When you go to separate workplaces or schools, you experience things that will give you something to talk about later. When you go out with your friends and your partner spends time with theirs, you have time and space to yourself and come back to each other refreshed. You have a chance to miss each other, and it helps you really understand the value of your relationship. Missing someone is great because getting to see them after that period will make you so happy and so sure of your relationship.

4. ENCOURAGE GROWTH AND CHANGE.

In a good relationship, both partners are encouraged to grow and change. You have one life to live – you should explore it to the fullest! If you want to quit your job and go back to school, your partner should support you. If you want to try something new or go back to something old, you should find support in your relationship. And you should give this support in return. Encourage your partner to explore hobbies and interests and meet new people. If you want your partner to stay the same, you’re going to have a very boring life together.

5. COMPROMISING DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE WEAK.

Compromising doesn’t mean “giving in.” It doesn’t mean that you’ve lost the fight. In fact, it’s the opposite. Do you know how hard it is to compromise sometimes? You want your way because it sounds right and makes sense to you. Your partner is way off base with their suggestions. Take a step back and look at the argument diplomatically. What’s the logical conclusion? If your partner is right, don’t be afraid to say so. Accept their way, or modify both of your solutions to be half and half. The important thing is not getting your way, it’s staying in your relationship and helping it grow. Compromising will definitely help your relationship grow.

6. ADMIT YOUR WEAKNESSES.

Your partner doesn’t expect you to be a superhero, and hopefully you don’t expect that of them! We’re all human; we all have flaws. It’s ok to let these show. In fact, to have a stable, serious relationship, you need to let your weaknesses be known. Your partner will be more sensitive to things that bother you, and can help build you up in areas where you need some help.

7. SOMETIMES YOU CAN ONLY ACCEPT THINGS, NOT FIX THEM.

People have baggage. You have some. Your partner has some. Can you go back and erase all of this? Nope! You’re stuck with it, and have to learn to deal with it. Some things are easier to get over than others, but the reality is that sometimes, you can’t fix things. You can’t make problems go away. You have to accept them and get over them and move on, or else your relationship will crumble.

8. FORGIVE QUICKLY AND TRULY.

Whenever you have a fight, don’t worry about who wins or who loses. Learn from the fight – from what was said as much as from how it was resolved. Once you learn from a fight, you can apply that lesson to your relationship to avoid trouble later. That’s all well and good, but you’re not done! Forgive your partner! Forgive yourself. The fight is over, you’re past it, now let it go. Never hold anything against your partner because the resentment will build until you don’t want to be with them.

9. NEVER EXPECT ANYTHING.

Don’t expect your partner to read your mind, or to bring you breakfast in bed, or to offer to wash the dishes. It’s not going to happen. You can’t expect anything from anyone – you have to make it known. Communicate. Make sure your partner knows what you expect from the relationship, as well as your opinions on a wide variety of issues. This will help them act considerate towards you, but still – don’t expect anything!

10. SHOW YOUR FEELINGS.

The worst thing you can do in a relationship is play games. Don’t tease your partner; don’t “reward” good deeds with love and affection. You have to make sure your partner always feels loved. You can be happy with them or be mad at them – it doesn’t matter – they just need to feel loved. They need to know your feelings in the moment as well, don’t get me wrong. But make sure you’re showing your feelings in a way that they won’t be misunderstood (back to #1!).

 

ALLISON RENNER

I’m a freelance writer with a background in fiction and a newfound passion for non-fiction. I write articles, columns, and personal essays, while still striving to achieve my preteen dream of writing for Saturday Night Live. I blog regularly at AllisonWrites.com.

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25 life changing lessons to learn from Paulo Coelho

Source: http://www.purposefairy.com/71428/25-life-changing-lessons-to-learn-from-paulo-coelho/

25 Life Changing Lessons to Learn from Paulo Coelho

“Life has a way of testing a person’s will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen at once.” ~ Paulo Coelho


I read my first personal development book in 2007 and that book also happened to be the first book I ever read in English, up until that moment. And then, in 2008, something amazing happened, I found The Alchemist and that’s when I fell in love with Paulo Coelho’s work.

Today I would like to share with you 25 beautiful Life Changing Lessons to learn from this amazing man, Paulo Coelho.
Enjoy

1. When you want something, the whole universe conspires to make it happen.
“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

2. Detach from all things and you will be free.
“When I had nothing to lose, I had everything.”

“Now that she had nothing to lose, she was free.”

3. We are all here for a purpose.
“No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn’t know it.”

“Everybody has a creative potential and from the moment you can express this creative potential, you can start changing the world.”

4. The only thing standing between you and your dream are your fears.
“Don’t give in to your fears. If you do, you won’t be able to talk to your heart.”

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.”

5. Mistakes are part of life.
“Everything tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back to where I came from because I didn’t have the courage to say “yes” to life?”

“When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.”

6. Really important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies meet.
“Really important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other. Generally speaking, these meetings occur when we reach a limit, when we need to die and be reborn emotionally. These meetings are waiting for us, but more often than not, we avoid them happening. If we are desperate, though, if we have nothing to lose, or if we are full of enthusiasm for life, then the unknown reveals itself, and our universe changes direction.”

“We can also allow our Soulmate to pass us by, without accepting him or her, or even noticing. Then we will need another incarnation in order to find that Soulmate. And because of our selfishness, we will be condemned to the worst torture humankind ever invented for itself: loneliness.”

7. Every experience, either good or bad, comes with a lesson.
“There are moments when troubles enter our lives and we can do nothing to avoid them. But they are there for a reason. Only when we have overcome them will we understand why they were there.”

8. Do not seek for love outside of you.
“Love is not to be found in someone else but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person.”

9. When you change, the whole world changes with you.
“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”

10. No reason is needed for loving.
“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.”

11. Mind your own business.
“Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”

12. When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive.
“When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive.”

“No one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it.”

13. Love is an untamed force.
“Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.”

14. Wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.
“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.”

15. Judge not.
“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.”

16. Children have valuable lessons to teach you.
“A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires.”

17. Appreciate the contrast of life.
“Never be ashamed,’ he said. ‘Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.’ ‘How will I know which is which?’ ‘By the taste. You can only know a good wine if you have first tasted a bad one.”

18. Nobody’s responsible for how you feel or don’t feel.
“In love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what we feel.”

19. Your beliefs shape you and make you who you are.
“You are what you believe yourself to be.”

20. Let go of the need to explain yourself.
“Don’t explain. Your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you.”

21. Love changes everything.
“It is not time that changes man nor knowledge the only thing that can change someone’s mind is love.”

22. Don’t mistake elegance with superficiality.
“Elegance is usually confused with superficiality, fashion, lack of depth. This is a serious mistake: human beings need to have elegance in their actions and in their posture because this word is synonymous with good taste, amiability, equilibrium and harmony.”

23. When you do work from your soul, the critics won’t hurt you.
“I write from my soul. This is the reason that critics don’t hurt me, because it is me. If it was not me, if I was pretending to be someone else, then this could unbalance my world, but I know who I am.”

24. Each day brings a miracle of its own.
“You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own. It’s just a matter of paying attention to this miracle.”

25. Embrace your authenticity
“You are someone who is different, but who wants to be the same as everyone else. And that in my view is a serious illness. God chose you to be different. Why are you disappointing God with this kind of attitude?”

“You must be the person you have never had the courage to be. Gradually, you will discover that you are that person, but until you can see this clearly, you must pretend and invent.”

“If you want to be successful, you must respect one rule – Never lie to yourself.”

Navigating Your Saturn Return

Discover what it means when Saturn returns
Source: http://www.tarot.com/astrology/saturn-return

If you’re in or approaching your late 20s, you’re likely to hear murmurs about the ominous Saturn Return. If you’re brave enough to inquire, you’ll get the message that you should be afraid, very afraid. But the purveyors of fear probably won’t give you any helpful information about what to expect — or, more importantly, what you can do.

So let’s look at what’s actually happening. Saturn takes approximately 29 years to orbit the Sun. Therefore, when you are about 29 years old, Saturn returns to the part of the sky where it was when you were born — your Saturn Return. You can find out exactly when your Saturn returns by looking at your birth chart, too.

In Astrology, Saturn is the Cosmic Taskmaster — the demanding teacher who presents you with obstacles and challenges so you can gain strength and wisdom. Saturn’s position in your Astrology birth chart reveals your major life lessons, as well as the fears you have to overcome to achieve success.

Saturn also represents what’s important to you, and shows the goals you are here to pursue, based on your values. When your actions — especially your work in the world — are aligned with your inner Saturn, you experience a sense of integrity and satisfaction. When you’re out of alignment, you feel Saturn’s shadow — restriction, lack and fear.

Committing to your calling

Your Saturn Return — which typically kicks in around age 27 or 28 — is a time of coming into alignment with your life’s true path. Work tends to be a major theme, and many make significant career changes during this time.

Don’t think that you’re “too old” to take your work in a new direction, or even go back to school for training in an entirely different field. Saturn rules longevity and old age and wants you to imagine yourself at age 80, looking back on your life. What do you want to have accomplished? What will you regret not doing because you were afraid to take a risk?

Saturn will give you very clear signals if you’re not aligned with your calling and pursuing your passions. Feeling stuck, depressed, frustrated and/or jealous of other people’s careers are signs that it’s time for a change. Those who ignore the signs and resist change could be forced by circumstances into a new line of work. Saturn is the “tough love” planet, whose lessons can feel harsh. However, whatever losses you experience during your Saturn Return are really helping you in the long run, compelling you to come into integrity with your truth.

Because your Saturn Return is typically a time when you have to “make your own luck,” don’t expect work opportunities to come falling out of the sky. Be willing to be humble and start small. If you’re interested in pursuing a new path and don’t yet have the experience to land a paying job, then volunteer your time. If you can’t afford to go back to school full-time, start by taking a class at a community college.

When you demonstrate your commitment to your goal by taking one concrete step in that direction, Saturn will reward your effort. If you’re willing to work hard, take responsibility, face your fears and let go of the past, your Saturn Return can be a time of major achievement.

Love at the Saturn Return

The Saturn Return is a time of significant endings and beginnings, and relationships are no exception — both weddings and divorces are common. This is a “make it or break it” transit, when you are ready to commit, one way or the other, and when you will receive clear signals to guide you.

If you’re already in a partnership at the start of your Saturn Return, the relationship will be tested. The Saturn Return calls for personal growth and major life changes, and your partnership will also have to grow and change if it is to survive. Now is the time to address any issues that have been lurking beneath the surface, and to take responsibility for making necessary adjustments in how you relate.

Plenty of partnerships do survive the Saturn Return — and ultimately achieve a deeper level of love and commitment. Honesty, flexibility and a willingness to release old habits and take a more mature approach are the keys to success.

If you start a new relationship during your Saturn Return, expect your sweetie to “play Saturn” — triggering your insecurities, and pushing you to step up and take greater responsibility for yourself. You will be tested to stay committed to your work and goals, even during the excitement of a new romance.

Because the Saturn Return is a period that requires solitude and introspection, many people experience being single — or temporarily separated from their partner — during their Saturn Return. In some cases, it can feel like you have so much going on in your own life that you have no time or energy for a partnership. If you find yourself in this situation, commit to being your own best partner for the time being. Trust that the energy you invest in your individual growth and development will necessarily result in a more satisfying future partnership.

The second time around

By age 58, Saturn has completed another 29-year journey around the Sun, and you get your second Saturn Return. While this can also be a challenging period — requiring big changes in work, relationships and other areas of life — the second is typically less tumultuous than the first. As you revisit themes from your first Saturn Return, you now have the wisdom and experience of the past 29 years to draw on, and are likely to have much greater clarity about who you are and what you want to accomplish.

At the second Saturn Return, people often feel like they’re finally free to do what they want — no longer trying to please or prove themselves to others. Retirement is a common theme around the second Return, freeing up time to pursue a hobby or creative passion, and some even start on a new career path altogether.

Even though people can still feel quite youthful at age 58, the second Saturn Return marks an initiation into the role of elder. This could mean taking a more active role in your community, or mentoring or teaching the younger generation.

The bottom line: reclaiming authority

Ultimately, both Saturn Returns revolve around the theme of authority, confronting you with the question — “who is the author of my life?” In any area where you are feeling restriction, limitation, deprivation or fear, look to see how you have given away your power to someone or something outside of yourself.

Reclaiming your authority means taking responsibility for whatever is happening in your life. Saturn, the great teacher, shows you that the only way to experience happiness and freedom is to take full possession of yourself. At the Saturn Return, giving away your power can lead to dire consequences, while reclaiming your authority will result in lasting success and inner satisfaction.